Thursday, January 31, 2008

Logic in a non-logical culture

A while ago at my youth group we were aksed to write down 3 questions, about anything at all, and pin them together to hang on a christmas tree.I'll be open, one of my first questions was "What's wrong with our culture?" and I'm truly bothered by it. I would like to expand on this broad question... our culture is so many things I just don't understand.

Now, I know a lot of people view me as the sheltered homeschool girl, but I think I've been out on my own long enough and use enough common sense to be able to fairly ask this question.

One of my main pet peaves is "hooking up". I'm about to get angry.... but I will try to contain myself and use as much common sense and logic as possible. Now I could start off by asking "why" but I think I will save the argument and answer that for you: It feels good, companionship, "I was drunk", it's fun, why not?, it's no big deal, it felt right, it's what friends do (wtf?), I thought he/she liked me, so on and so on....all of these statements I've heard

What I can't understand from girls is why would you let a guy disrespect you so much? If we're talking about one-night-stands here, than in reality you have just given a guy all your "cash and prizes", let him walk away with them never to think about you again, the best way to put it is - you've been used. Used to fill a pleasure, used to fill an empty gap for ONE night, used in replacement of others sometimes, you're not worth anything special, anything that guy wants to keep around, take care of, treat like his princess. What do you mean? Do you have any value for yourself? If you want to mean something to that guy than by all means make him work for it(this goes for guys too)! I truly believe if you put yourself out there as the loose and easy girl that's all for supporting hook ups and one night stands, you will be that girl that has no value to guys someday, you're the 'hook up girl'. So, keep it up and mr. right will get lost deeper and deeper into that sea until all you're left with are guppies. and I can say this by learning from my own mistakes too, I'm not just rambling off of hear-say - mostly.

It makes me sad when guys just want to hook up, cuddle, make out, whatever your current, momentary need is. My thoughts on this are just "don't you get sick of a different girl every so often?" I am sad for the guys that feel this need, that won't wait for one special girl, that can't just be happy with one person. Whether it is a rebound, or some girls to fill the gap until your next girlfriend, or you just like hooking up without the ball and chain of a girlfriend... isn't it lonely? To have to find someone to care about you every night? To not have one woman to come home to everyday, one woman you know you'll kiss every night?

Instead both men and women, we sift through partners like it's a sport. It's sad to me. In a culture where this means nothing I am afraid to step out on a limb and give any guy a chance that maybe appears to want to pursue me! What is he pursuing me for? I won't be someone's toy and I won't cuddle with you just to cuddle, I won't fill my need for someone to hold me with a random friend or stranger.... because when I do find the right guy it will mean all that much more to know I was patient and strong for him. To be able to give that to someone means something to me. And I'm not saying we'll go through life and only meet ONE person, for some it may be a few relationships before you find "the one." But I am talking on a level of "I'm bored let's hook up" "I need sex, let's go find someone" "He/she's cute, let's makeout." Spare yourself, play a little hard to get, value yourself and have a little dignity for god's sakes! How weak of person must that make you look? With no respect for yourself and no strength to turn down some late night attraction. How much more appealing a person are those who come off strong and respectfull of the opposite sex to not take advantage of them just for the hell of it? It's pretty hot to me...

Anyways, I'm rambling, it's been on my mind. So, there's my stand point. I hope it makes some sense in a culture where nothing makes sense.

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