My new obsession

My sister introduced me to this band Tegan and Sara, in which I quickly became addicted to. They seem to me to embody the perfect amount of everything from rage and intensity to a poetic calm. Or maybe just a mass amount of confusion that can only make some strange sense to a girl.

Hell hath no fury like a woman's rage

Do you ever miss the way things used to be? Before, when it was you and me? May I say; I miss who you were and I pain for who I was? Trying to find myself again is a battle that will never end.

When I think of a love that was tainted; in my mind it is your face that is painted. Oh God I miss those eyes! Not knowing in ignorance those looks were filled with lies, that I was only used to be a little while your muse. Was this my worth to you?

My thoughts feel as a though a furious ocean's wave to never be a calm as I wonder where it was that I went wrong. And there I go to blame myself again and punish unhealed wounds that will never mend, and so I will until my every thought of you is purged.

And so, to you I urge this simple question that taunts what is left of this stolen heart; what did I do to make us fall apart? I'm still here, do you remember me? I feel invisible to you now as I ponder if you too...miss what used to be. No more a friend, no one to trust, my soul still taunted by this bitter end.



~The End~

Everyone needs their angry outlet

Winter Camp

I was blessed this weekend to spend it at Forest Homes winter camp with a group of wonderful junior high girls and my co-leader Ashley.
Of course there was lots of camp fun and jokes and new memories to be cherished.. but beyond that, beyond the games, the worship, sermons and even discussions I was just blessed by the presence of these girls I got to spend it with. How precious are the minds of young children. So open and loving, things I think as adults we should watch and learn ourselves from these little treasures. I was blessed to hear their thoughts on the sermons, their ideas, what it meant to them, their honesty... what a breathe of fresh air... honesty... from the mouths of babes.
It's an honor and sometimes even scary to be the one there to shape their minds, to teach and exhort them.
My plans in school had already been to go into psychology and youth ministry, but I think this weekend the Lord truly confirmed to my heart that this was where I belonged, this is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. To be apart of the transforming life of adolescence is such a beautiful and inspiring thing.
The last day of camp topped off this wonderful weekend. Walking back to our cabin by myself I was caught off guard when I looked straight up and saw the mountain directly in front of me ... thos mountains you see off in the distance when driving towards Pasadena..yea their a lot more striking when standing - so to speak - face to face with them. I felt this awe and reverence and almost intimidated, but at the same time an overwhelming comfort and burst in my heart. It was like standing in the center of a huge arena and it reminded me of one of my favorite verses.
"Therefore, since we are so SURROUNDED by a great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every wieght and sin that ensares us, and let us run the race which is set before us." Hebrews 12:1
It's weekends like this that leave you feeling a little revived and renewed.
I would have taken a picture, but it's one of those things that can't capture the same feeling.. plus I wanted it all for myself and not to share... and I didn't have a camera.